(All of the images on this page are taken from Mobygames.)

I was struggling a lot on what would be the next post I would write in this section but I've finally got one. I found a game the other day that was absolutely insane. It has not left my mind since I first played it, and I want to tell the world about it. xD

I follow a Bluesky account simply called videogame history that only posts images related to old video games without any commentary, and often these images are totally weird. It's a very fun feed in my opinion. A few days ago it posted a screenshot of a game called Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson.

Of course this image is already good. Just look at it! Then someone posted this other screenshot in the replies, and I decided I had to track down the game immediately.

(The day after writing this page I learned that the rats on this screen are based on the developer's own pet rats :3)

While the game has a page on the obscure game site Home of the Underdogs and has been briefly poked fun at by Vinesauce's Joel (I only discovered this while writing this page!) and all sorts of other references to it online, there's only one place to get the whole game and nothing but the game: the developer's website. You will have noticed by now that the game's text is written in a very specific way, and it will not let up the whole time. If you want to enjoy the full Nelda experience you must acclimate to it.

The game's plot is simple: Nelda, who is a sort of cowlike creature, has become lost in her own internal anatomy on the way to the snack bar, so you must guide her to escape. She can walk, jump, crouch, and spit gobs of flaming custard. This is all you need for your toolkit to victory.

So the gameplay itself is a very janky puzzle-platformer. The goal of each level is different, and you must figure out what it is without being killed too much. All sorts of creatures are trying to stop you, and not all of them can be killed with custard spit. There's a lot of recurring enemies, but most of the levels contain some custom anatomical-motif monster that may or may not pose a threat to you. In-between each level is a quiz segment that is totally optional, and has no effect on your score if you succeed.

I will not spoil the details of the challenge, in case you want to try this game for yourself, but I can go into the difficulty. It's a very short game, with only 10 single-screen levels and an optional bonus. The solution to each puzzle generally presents itself quickly, but some levels took me ages. In particular the level vaguely themed around the liver seems to have caused trouble for almost everyone. There's also the classic "The Games Factory"-type jank with Nelda's collision, and this is certianly not for everyone, but personally I was very amused by it more than anything.

The developer has clearly put a lot of care into this game. Almost all of the spritework is original, and in my opinion very well-made. It also comes with a very large help file that contains a walkthrough and various other nonsense. In a lot of ways it feels like a test of what the artist could do with The Games Factory, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a really fascinating little game!

If you like this then go ahead and download it yourself at the link above. It worked just fine for me, but you may need otvdm if you don't have a virtual machine. If that sounds too overwhelming then you can watch a video walkthrough on Youtube. And make sure to check out the developer's other work as well, he makes really cool art. That's all for today!